8 Parts Of A Healthy Perspective

We all need a reality check sometimes - especially when things get hectic. These 8 foundational principles will act as a “rock foundation” of your life - no matter what your role in the family is.

One: God is in control, and working everything to the good of believers

"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

“The human mind plans the way, but the LORD directs the steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

God is always in control. He is a God that loves you and only wants good for you. Not a hair of your head falls to the ground without Him knowing it. Nothing happens in the universe unless He allows it. Even evil things, or things that at least appear evil, are only allowed by a loving God who can bring a greater good out of evil. You may not feel like it’s true, but it is true - God is in control, and He’s working everything out to a greater good. Your job is to cooperate with His plans.

Two: God’s love is unconditional

“But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

"And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

God loves you, period. That means God wants nothing but the best for you. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He loves us better than we love ourselves. Your sins have not - and never can - change God’s level of love for you. That love is beyond all description and comprehension. The love of the most caring parent for their beloved child, which is absolutely incredible, still only pales in comparison to God’s love for you. Sit with that, let it sink in, and it will become part of your habitual perspective in life.

Three: Seeing Christ in others is essential

"Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me." (Matthew 25:40)

Jesus teaches us that how we treat others is how we treat Him. Obviously then, seeing Christ in others is absolutely essential. This includes parents seeing Jesus Christ in their children, children seeing Jesus Christ in their parents, and siblings seeing Jesus Christ in each other. Now, these perspectives are more powerful than dynamite. Remember that the next time you speak to a member of your family. Remember that the next time you see them suffering, or the next time you feel tempted to do something wrong to them. Jesus calls us to see Himself behind and beyond the ‘disguise’ of others.

"Instead, as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; for it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'” (1 Peter 1:15)

God calls you, and all the members of your family, to personal holiness. This is really nothing else than living out God’s will for your life, both in big things, and in small things. It means daily prayer, having a deep relationship with God, following the teachings of the Church, and faithfully fulfilling your responsibilities in life. Spending more personal time with God will make you holy. You will be more and more one with Him, who is the only one who can satisfy your heart. As an incentive, the holiest people are always the happiest people.

Four: Call to holiness – a personal call

"Instead, as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; for it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.'” (1 Peter 1:15)

God calls you, and all the members of your family, to personal holiness. This is really nothing else than living out God’s will for your life, both in big things, and in small things. It means daily prayer, having a deep relationship with God, following the teachings of the Church, and faithfully fulfilling your responsibilities in life. Spending more personal time with God will make you holy. You will be more and more one with Him, who is the only one who can satisfy your heart. As an incentive, the holiest people are always the happiest people.

Five: God has a solution to every problem – it may not be the same as ours, but it’s the best one

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable." (Isaiah 40:28)

God, your loving Father, has a solution to every problem. It may not always be the one we pick or asked for, but it’s always the best one. It may not come when we want it to, but God’s timing is perfect. God always answers our prayer requests with a ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘wait’. Whichever He says to us, He says out of love.

Six: God always wants to forgive us and invites us to share the mercy we’ve received with others

"Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Colossians 3:13-14)

“Forgive us as our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” This is our prayer every time we pray the Our Father. God eagerly longs to forgive your sins. The same is true for the members of your family. It is simply up to us to come to Him for forgiveness, and to share that forgiveness with others. It may help to also remember that God’s forgiveness and grace flow in a powerful way through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Don’t miss out on those powerful graces.

Seven: Always speak the truth, for sincerity in relating to others is essential

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:32)

“Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no. Anything more than this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37)

Honesty is a healing balm for many wounds. Be honest, sincere, and authentic with others. You will be surprised how much this may actually make others like you even more. This principle applies between spouses, in families, and even in our workplaces. It matters wherever we find ourselves. Some people put on a mask, or spin webs of deception. Neither of these are of God. Be courageous enough to try your best to speak the truth in love, and at the right time. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you in this. Honesty is always the best policy, and transparency frequently brings healing to broken relationships.

Eight: Everyone is different, so it’s alright to be unique

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you." (Jeremiah 1:5)

"But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many members ..." (1 Corinthians 12:18-20)

You might at times wish everyone was just like you. Nevertheless, the beautiful tapestry of human uniqueness which is created when we are all put together is, in fact, truly a masterpiece of your Heavenly Father. We all have our unique way of doing things, or dealing with the challenges that face us. Your uniqueness isn’t bad, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re weird. At the very least, you’re likely not more weird than everyone else is. I’m pretty weird myself. Just remember that your “differentness” is in fact a blessing. Never hide from it. It is a gift. Lean into it. Let Jesus Christ mold you more and more into who and what God is calling you to be. As you do so, don’t be afraid of your uniqueness. Own it. Each of us is a unique reflection of God’s goodness. Let the unique goodness in you shine forth, while you appreciate others’.

Summary

Although you might not always be aware of them, these eight principles are essential parts of a healthy perspective in life. Print them out, or post them on your wall, perhaps right next to your poster of the Ten Commandments. Maybe put them in your kitchen or where your family gathers often. What about your fridge? Then just sit back and watch - God will use these daily reminders to shape you and your family into the people He is calling you to be. May He bring to completion the good work He has begun in you. (See Philippians 1:6)

God Bless,

Father Gregory Merkley

Father Gregory Merkley is a priest of the Diocese of Hamilton, in Ontario, Canada. Having grown up in a family where the faith was not very practiced, he lived for some years as a practical atheist. After his return to the Catholic Church, he gave his life to Christ and was ordained a Catholic priest on May 4th, 2019. Father Merkley is interested in anything Catholic, with a special love for evangelization, apologetics, Catholic Tradition, and canon law. When he is not praying, he is most typically involved in some form of evangelization or ministry. You can learn more about him at his personal website.